“Parenting isn’t for wimps!”
That was the note included in a card congratulating my husband and I on the birth of our first child. In the glow of being a brand-new parent, welcoming our beautiful bundle of joy into the world, it made me smile…Oh, little did I know! Soon I was wishing for the instruction manual that should have come with this new addition to our family. I was convinced that the nurses had forgotten to include it with the formula and diaper samples they had sent home with us.
As our family grew, we joined Elfinwild Church. A few Sundays later, I sat in a pew, bleary-eyed from lack of sleep, and realized that the instruction manual I had been searching for was right in front of me. In fact, there were several copies in every pew: God’s Word, the Bible. Here was the instruction, encouragement, and support I so desperately needed. And on those days when reading a few lines was enough to put my sleep-deprived mind to sleep, God’s wisdom and guidance were still just a prayer away. His Word reminded me of His promise: “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9).
The Bible views parenting as a sacred duty - raising children in the faith, shaping their character and providing both nurture and discipline. As the nurse hands us that squalling bundle for the first time, we may ask ourselves, what did I sign up for? As parents, what are we called to do?
- To view children as a gift. Scripture describes children as a blessing, a heritage and a reward from God. (Psalm 127:3-5)
- To intentionally teach our children. Parents are commanded to weave God’s Word and faith-filled values into everyday life. (Deuteronomy 6:6-7)
- To guide and train our children. Train a child in the right path so that the foundation remains as they grow older. To guide them in the ways that please or displease the Lord and the outcome or consequence to their choices and conduct. (Proverbs 22:6)
- To discipline with love. The root word for discipline is “disciple” …teaching them to be a disciple (a follower and student of Jesus). Discipline teaches children acceptable behavior, self-control, and long-term responsibility. It teaches kids expectations and accountability and helps them to see that there is a connection between what they do and what happens next - the natural and logical consequences. (Ephesians 6:4 & Colossians 3:21)
- To provide for our children. Parents have a practical duty to provide for our child’s physical needs. (1 Timothy 5:8)
- To lead by example. Little eyes and little ears are always watching and listening…a parent’s personal character, faith and handling of life serve as the primary model for our children. What sermon are you preaching? Are you making choices that make God smile?
Parenting is a demanding job, no doubt, but throughout Scripture, it is quite clear that the raising of children is a wonderful blessing from God - a welcome, joyful experience and one of the greatest privileges in life…to bring a baby into the world… a vulnerable little human being who looks to us for all his needs. What a wonderful opportunity it is to teach these little ones to love God with all their hearts and to serve others throughout their lives.
When my daughter left for college, a friend once again jotted a note in a card. This note said,
“The days are long, but the years are short.”
At those words, I smiled, but this time through some tears. How right this message was. It would be wonderful to be able to slow time or even to be able to turn the clock back…I’d especially like a do-over for the day I earned the “Worst Mom on the Planet Award.” (Honestly, I think I earned that one several times!) But if that would mean that any of the learning, growing or loving opportunities would be undone for either my children or myself, I would reconsider.
One of the most difficult challenges to being a parent is learning to let go. Life gives us many chances to practice this, whether it’s off to college or in sending your little one to preschool. I would like to say that it gets easier…perhaps we just get better at relying on the One who is always with us and with our children. Our children are their own person - created by God in a unique way with their own unique journey. There will be times when they will need to experience something on their own, when we can’t or shouldn’t be there to rescue them. There will be times when they can only grow by moving through hard stuff, when we can’t or shouldn’t fix everything for them. There will even be times when a lesson needs to be learned the hard way, when we know a hurt is coming that can’t be avoided. Our job then is to be on our knees praying for them while we reassure them that they are loved, no matter what, by us, as well as the One who made them.
Yes, parenting isn’t for wimps…our heartstrings can be pulled in unimaginable ways, and some days are very lon,g but childhood goes by in a flash. Remember God understands and will guide and help your willing heart (Psalm 1:6). There will be days when our hearts break for our children and other days when the joy overflows… but there is no higher calling.
To God be the glory!
Kristin Coco
